Friday, April 22, 2011

Back Stabber

What would you do if you found out that someone you thought care about You.Was actually talking very harshly about you behind your back.Calling you curse words and talking about your weight.If your human of course it's going to have some impact.Whether it be angry,sad,depressed etc.Now how would you feel if it was a family member?Could you forgive this person turn the other cheek.Or would you isolate yourself from the negativity?


Kat's Kats said...

Ow. Very very ow. My late Gran Alice Bitch Queen of the Universe didn't curse but she was a vicious controlling woman who literally drove my late father to drink. He basically ended up asking me for permission to die and apologized to me for leaving me to deal with her after his death (he had cancer).

When she got to a point where I could no longer stand the negativity I was on the phone with her (thank goodness she lived in a different city) and interrupted her, "Gran Alice? I hate to say this but I was raised to believe that people should be polite to people. But they should be especially polite to family members, which is something you are not doing. When you are capable of being polite to me, you know what my phone number is." and I hung up.

She'd already written me out of her will after my father died when she found out that he had none and everything went to me rather than her. Then she didn't even have the 'balls' to tell me. She left instructions that I not be told when she died so I didn't find out about it for a year. The executor of her estate had no idea whose children she had pictures of... they were mine. "But Kathryn wasn't talking to her!" "Ummm, no" corrected my father's father's side of the family, "Alice wasn't talking to her."

I forgave her. I forgave her before I'd told her she had to be polite. I forgave her when she refused to believe the things my father had done. He apologized even when she never did. If you don't forgive, the negativity can build up even more. But that does NOT mean that you condone the behavior OR that you have to tolerate it OR that you have to hang around the person acting like that.

Loving someone isn't the same as loving their behavior. Your reality check is hereby cashed. And for the record? One of my best friends has finally been able to start healing her food addiction & disorders brought on by the hurtful things said to her by her own mother all of her life. It took over a year of her telling herself at least 100+ times a day "I am beautiful".

You're beautiful. Don't ever forget it!!

Mr Puddy said...

My mom hate that kind of human too. But if he or she is one of your family. Mom said she will do in this way.

Avoid this person ! Do talk when you have to and keep it short and Make Million Excuses to walk away.

And Do not upset what he/she talks about you. Completely Ignore. Come one ear , Go out another ear. It's not worth to keep it in your heart. You are allowed to angry but do not hold on to what he/she said. Just stuck with Simple thought " Life is too short why keep her nasty words with you "

People can talks whatever but it's your choice to choose how much you want to pay attention with those kind of people.

Take Care

Kea said...

Ugh. What a mean-spirited, lost soul.

Frankly, I would avoid that person as much as possible. In my case, I have mental health issues and have had all my life (depression) and I wouldn't need/want anyone toxic in my life. Heck, even a "normal" healthy person doesn't need anyone toxic in their life!

Angel and Kirby said...

Why do people think they are 'helping' you when all they are really doing is hurting you!

We are who we are and should be proud of it!

ABBY said...

It's very toxic to allow someone like that in your life. Because this is a family member you may have to keep your distance and be firm and polite. Like the old cliche goes you get more with honey than vinegar. WE hope that this person sees that they have made you unhappy and are able to mend their ways.


Jan's Funny Farm said...

Oh, life is hard enough without dealing with a backstabber in your own family. I like what you have in your sidebar - Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead. Hugs, Jan

Daisy said...

Just ignore the big old Meanie!

JB's Big and Small Worlds said...

Eek, you scared us with that picture! It depends....did that family member apologize? What they did sounds very hurtful, and they must be very angry inside.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

PS - Happy Easter!

Samantha, Clementine and Maverick said...

Oh that is so sad!! We are sending lots of hugggs and prurrrayers for your Mom!! Happy easter to you both!!
(((HUGGGSSS))))) from your TX furiends,

Oskar said...

Ooh that sounds like a bad situation that humans do to each other. I hope it gets fixed quickly.

Nubbin wiggles,

Cheyenne -Millie said...

We are sorry this is happening to you! For years my mom put up with a backstabbing individual in her (human) family. Over the years mom distanced herself from that person having as little to do with them as possible. That individual recently passed away, only being 59.

Cheyenne -Millie said...

Oops! Hope you have a good and wonderful Easter!

The Lee County Clowder said...

Well, our first reaction is to make sure this back-stabber actually is doing the things (s)he is being accused of. We've met a couple people who seem to enjoy starting fights just for the fun of it.

Beyond that, our suggestion is to try to avoid this person as much as possible, although you probably don't want to cut yourself off from the rest of the family. If you can't avoid this being, just smile and nod and keep walking, metaphorically, if not literally.

Remember: "Love your enemies; it drives them nuts."

Kat's Kats said...

Remember: "Love your enemies; it drives them nuts."

::snicker:: Yeah, unfortunately that doesn't work for the brain dead.

The Meezers or Billy said...

our mom has family like that - and she has not spoken to them in years. and she's much happier

Kat's Kats said...

::nods:: Da boys side with the Meezers. Our mom was much much happier once she stopped interacting with kith & kin who acted like that!!